What in the world have I been up to (and more..)
I bet you are wondering what in the world has Michelle been up to...
LOTS! Life has been crazy busy for me. Work is getting busy now, totally starting to pick up, not too sure yet if thats a good thing or not especially since my boss is going away next week for a week to sask. for holidays and is leaving me in charge while she is away... SO I have been learning a lot over these past few weeks, doing more around the store more then I usually already do, heading in the store at 8am on Monday (my day off) and on Thursday to learn how to recieve the food shipment... learning how to manage the whole store on my own. So you can imagine how stressful this has been for me, considering my boss has never left the province before since I have started working at monsters pizza over a year ago. She has gone to Kamloops and Vancouver - but never that far away, so she is a bit stressed about leaving, and I'm heaps stressed that she is going to be so far away considering when she was closer it was easier for the both of us to stay in touch and figure things out if I needed help, plus her mom was around to help if I needed it. But their whole family is going for this HUGE family reunion so that leaves me to totally do everything on my own. And mind you I am the next in line in charge when my boss isn't there...
SO a result of me being super-duper stressed out, you guessed it right, I have already had an eye infection due to stress... had it for a week - meaning several trips to the eye dr to make sure that the infection around my eye wouldn't effect my eye sight and wouldn't cause any damage to my cornia and retna... and after being on these pills that I had to take 5 times a day for a week the eye infection was like 95% better... then BANG, I got another rash, around my lips and on my lower eye lid... yes again from being so stressed out and freaking out about the next week that I will be the only one in charge of the whole store. I know I know, I shouldn't be stressed out - but I truly am. BUT I am truly blessed by a few co-workers who came to me today and told me that while my boss is away they will help me out as much as they can, as they know how stressed out I have been feeling... and not just that but they said they will support me and back me up if I need it. So that is really super-duper encouraging.
What else have I been up to...
Have been taking a lot of time getting to know myself, my weaknesses and my strengths. doing a lot of soul searching, a lot of praying, a lot of writting, a lot of sitting in complete silence and doing a lot of listening.
God has been really challenging me in lots of areas of my life... Areas where I know for a long time that I needed to work on, and now areas of my life that I didn't know that needed to be fixed. Its interesting how God works and uses those around me, near and far, to speak in to my life.
I was really encouraged though Sunday night when I was hanging out with my best friend. She called me Sunday afternoon and we were having this huge heart to heart talk - it was really tough, I cried like I have never cried before... or well at least for a long time anyways... We were able to share with one another in a really deep way. Which was really encouraging for me, because in the last little while I have felt worthless, felt depressed, and felt as if things in life just we not going the way that I wish they would be going... And for the first time during a conversation, when someone told me that they loved me, I actually sat there and accepted that they loved me for who I am, not for all the things that I do or say. After talking with my best friend - we had planned to hang out for the rest of the day so we went and watched her kids play soccer - which is a sport that I just absolutely love! And I must say... for all of you who know me, will know this already... when it comes to hugs, I am not very fond of them, especially if I am in an emotional state, feeling down, sad etc. I just haven't been very big on hugging, and I think it is a result of things that have happend in my life (in the past while growing up - all the physical abuse that I went through and had to deal with - if you search through my archives you can find a biography that I have started to write - and am still writing to this day - I will eventually post more of that on here as time goes on...) but anyways, when my friend and I arrived at the soccer field to catch up with her daughters we were walking then all of a sudden I was attacked and given the most biggest hug that I have recieved in a long time, a hug that totally suprised me and took me off gaurd. But it was a beautiful hug that made me feel so much better then what I was feeling at that present moment. God has really blessed me with so many people in my life near and far... There are few people who I could name who have had a huge impact on my life...
Deana - (yes I know you read my blog - so if you are reading this I hope this encourages you, and blesses you) Back in 2002 Deana and her husband Rick (www.614network.com/blog) were appointed to the Williams Lake Salvation Army Corps. I had made a really strong connection with Deana, from the day that I met her until the day that she had to leave to go to her new appointment she has challenged me, encouraged me, allowed me to cry with her, has hugged me when I was at my most lowest point, has given me the "tough love", we have had many many many talks in person, through email, late night conversations where I have called her and balled my eyes out to her on the phone... many prayer sessions... she has been able to witness the growth in my life... has witness me fallen away, and come back again. Has seen me over come victories, and has celebrated them with me... And through the whole time that I have known Deana I always know that no matter where I am at, no matter what I say - no matter what I do, she never judges me but loves me for who I am, she always encourages me, challenges me, and gives the best advice that anyone could ever give to someone, even if at that very moment what she says may hurt - but it always turned out to be the greatest thing in the whole world. Deana is someone who knows me like an open book, she has always been able to read me like no else could ever... even if I was trying to lie - or cover things up, I couldn't do it or ever get away with it. all of this stuff has had a huge impact on me and has really helped me in my walk with God, has really helped me to get to know myself... has really stretched me in my faith... She loves like no other person I know. And this - is a huge inspiration to me. The love that Deana has for God and for those around her is encouraging, and I admire that so much. Its a love that is unexplainable... its a love that every Christian should have towards eachother. Deana - thank you for always having a huge impact on my life and for being a very special friend to me. I hold you close in my heart and I always thank God for you! Bless you sister... bless you!
Right now the closet friend I have is Tanya - she is my best friend, not that but also my boss at work which honestly sometimes makes things a bit tough - trying to keep work work and our friendship our friendship and really have that balance. But some how and some way - we know how to balance it out - and things just seem to work out in its own way. Tanya has been here for me for the past year - she isn't a Christian but she is someone who I also admire and someone who I truly look up to. We have been able to share so many laughs, at work and away from work. We have been able to be such goofs together, have those really deep belly laughs, you know the kind where you are laughing so hard and cant stop - but you know you have to try to stop or you may have an accident... thats us. We have so much fun together when we hang out. And I think the greatest thing about our friendship is even when we hang out we don't have to sit there and spend the whole time talking, we can just sit there and enjoy the silence and enjoy eachother company. I have learned a lot from Tanya in the past year or so that I have known her. I have learned to allow myself be vulnerable, to allow myself to be who I am... I have learned a lot of leadership skills from her, how to handle certian situations (at work, and away) I have learned again about love & friendship. What it means to be a true friend to someone. To always stick by them in thick and thin... to always encourage eachother, to show eachother that tough love. The neatest thing I think that encourages me from the friendship that we have - is about letting things go. If I ever hurt her in some way or another - she is a very forgiving person and just totally lets it go and never holds that against me... and I am learning to do the same. Even though - sometimes its hard to let go of things - Tanya is teaching me how to. She also encourages me in my walk with God, which to hear from a non-christian to me is encouraging. I have many non-christian friends but I don't feel as if I could ever share my faith with them. But with Tanya is different we agree on so much, but yet disagree on a lot too but we are able to have that heart to heart talk. I even gave her a bible for christmas which she absolutely loves! and she has also bought me a few christian things too, like a really cool necklace, an inspirational book and the purpose driven life journal. I have just been so blessed by her friendship and she will always have that special place in my heart....
(I just realized its 11:53pm) Its getting late, yet there is just sooooooo much more that i want to share with you... BUT it'll have to wait until tomorrow night when I get home from work... so hold on, there is more to read... so stay tuned.
Bless you!
Michelle
LOTS! Life has been crazy busy for me. Work is getting busy now, totally starting to pick up, not too sure yet if thats a good thing or not especially since my boss is going away next week for a week to sask. for holidays and is leaving me in charge while she is away... SO I have been learning a lot over these past few weeks, doing more around the store more then I usually already do, heading in the store at 8am on Monday (my day off) and on Thursday to learn how to recieve the food shipment... learning how to manage the whole store on my own. So you can imagine how stressful this has been for me, considering my boss has never left the province before since I have started working at monsters pizza over a year ago. She has gone to Kamloops and Vancouver - but never that far away, so she is a bit stressed about leaving, and I'm heaps stressed that she is going to be so far away considering when she was closer it was easier for the both of us to stay in touch and figure things out if I needed help, plus her mom was around to help if I needed it. But their whole family is going for this HUGE family reunion so that leaves me to totally do everything on my own. And mind you I am the next in line in charge when my boss isn't there...
SO a result of me being super-duper stressed out, you guessed it right, I have already had an eye infection due to stress... had it for a week - meaning several trips to the eye dr to make sure that the infection around my eye wouldn't effect my eye sight and wouldn't cause any damage to my cornia and retna... and after being on these pills that I had to take 5 times a day for a week the eye infection was like 95% better... then BANG, I got another rash, around my lips and on my lower eye lid... yes again from being so stressed out and freaking out about the next week that I will be the only one in charge of the whole store. I know I know, I shouldn't be stressed out - but I truly am. BUT I am truly blessed by a few co-workers who came to me today and told me that while my boss is away they will help me out as much as they can, as they know how stressed out I have been feeling... and not just that but they said they will support me and back me up if I need it. So that is really super-duper encouraging.
What else have I been up to...
Have been taking a lot of time getting to know myself, my weaknesses and my strengths. doing a lot of soul searching, a lot of praying, a lot of writting, a lot of sitting in complete silence and doing a lot of listening.
God has been really challenging me in lots of areas of my life... Areas where I know for a long time that I needed to work on, and now areas of my life that I didn't know that needed to be fixed. Its interesting how God works and uses those around me, near and far, to speak in to my life.
I was really encouraged though Sunday night when I was hanging out with my best friend. She called me Sunday afternoon and we were having this huge heart to heart talk - it was really tough, I cried like I have never cried before... or well at least for a long time anyways... We were able to share with one another in a really deep way. Which was really encouraging for me, because in the last little while I have felt worthless, felt depressed, and felt as if things in life just we not going the way that I wish they would be going... And for the first time during a conversation, when someone told me that they loved me, I actually sat there and accepted that they loved me for who I am, not for all the things that I do or say. After talking with my best friend - we had planned to hang out for the rest of the day so we went and watched her kids play soccer - which is a sport that I just absolutely love! And I must say... for all of you who know me, will know this already... when it comes to hugs, I am not very fond of them, especially if I am in an emotional state, feeling down, sad etc. I just haven't been very big on hugging, and I think it is a result of things that have happend in my life (in the past while growing up - all the physical abuse that I went through and had to deal with - if you search through my archives you can find a biography that I have started to write - and am still writing to this day - I will eventually post more of that on here as time goes on...) but anyways, when my friend and I arrived at the soccer field to catch up with her daughters we were walking then all of a sudden I was attacked and given the most biggest hug that I have recieved in a long time, a hug that totally suprised me and took me off gaurd. But it was a beautiful hug that made me feel so much better then what I was feeling at that present moment. God has really blessed me with so many people in my life near and far... There are few people who I could name who have had a huge impact on my life...
Deana - (yes I know you read my blog - so if you are reading this I hope this encourages you, and blesses you) Back in 2002 Deana and her husband Rick (www.614network.com/blog) were appointed to the Williams Lake Salvation Army Corps. I had made a really strong connection with Deana, from the day that I met her until the day that she had to leave to go to her new appointment she has challenged me, encouraged me, allowed me to cry with her, has hugged me when I was at my most lowest point, has given me the "tough love", we have had many many many talks in person, through email, late night conversations where I have called her and balled my eyes out to her on the phone... many prayer sessions... she has been able to witness the growth in my life... has witness me fallen away, and come back again. Has seen me over come victories, and has celebrated them with me... And through the whole time that I have known Deana I always know that no matter where I am at, no matter what I say - no matter what I do, she never judges me but loves me for who I am, she always encourages me, challenges me, and gives the best advice that anyone could ever give to someone, even if at that very moment what she says may hurt - but it always turned out to be the greatest thing in the whole world. Deana is someone who knows me like an open book, she has always been able to read me like no else could ever... even if I was trying to lie - or cover things up, I couldn't do it or ever get away with it. all of this stuff has had a huge impact on me and has really helped me in my walk with God, has really helped me to get to know myself... has really stretched me in my faith... She loves like no other person I know. And this - is a huge inspiration to me. The love that Deana has for God and for those around her is encouraging, and I admire that so much. Its a love that is unexplainable... its a love that every Christian should have towards eachother. Deana - thank you for always having a huge impact on my life and for being a very special friend to me. I hold you close in my heart and I always thank God for you! Bless you sister... bless you!
Right now the closet friend I have is Tanya - she is my best friend, not that but also my boss at work which honestly sometimes makes things a bit tough - trying to keep work work and our friendship our friendship and really have that balance. But some how and some way - we know how to balance it out - and things just seem to work out in its own way. Tanya has been here for me for the past year - she isn't a Christian but she is someone who I also admire and someone who I truly look up to. We have been able to share so many laughs, at work and away from work. We have been able to be such goofs together, have those really deep belly laughs, you know the kind where you are laughing so hard and cant stop - but you know you have to try to stop or you may have an accident... thats us. We have so much fun together when we hang out. And I think the greatest thing about our friendship is even when we hang out we don't have to sit there and spend the whole time talking, we can just sit there and enjoy the silence and enjoy eachother company. I have learned a lot from Tanya in the past year or so that I have known her. I have learned to allow myself be vulnerable, to allow myself to be who I am... I have learned a lot of leadership skills from her, how to handle certian situations (at work, and away) I have learned again about love & friendship. What it means to be a true friend to someone. To always stick by them in thick and thin... to always encourage eachother, to show eachother that tough love. The neatest thing I think that encourages me from the friendship that we have - is about letting things go. If I ever hurt her in some way or another - she is a very forgiving person and just totally lets it go and never holds that against me... and I am learning to do the same. Even though - sometimes its hard to let go of things - Tanya is teaching me how to. She also encourages me in my walk with God, which to hear from a non-christian to me is encouraging. I have many non-christian friends but I don't feel as if I could ever share my faith with them. But with Tanya is different we agree on so much, but yet disagree on a lot too but we are able to have that heart to heart talk. I even gave her a bible for christmas which she absolutely loves! and she has also bought me a few christian things too, like a really cool necklace, an inspirational book and the purpose driven life journal. I have just been so blessed by her friendship and she will always have that special place in my heart....
(I just realized its 11:53pm) Its getting late, yet there is just sooooooo much more that i want to share with you... BUT it'll have to wait until tomorrow night when I get home from work... so hold on, there is more to read... so stay tuned.
Bless you!
Michelle
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