What to do?...
hmmmm... well its 9:03am I am up and out of bed and somewhat ready to go for whatever the day decides to throw my way. I'm not sure why I am feeling the way I am this morning. I had my morning tea - my morning time with God and for some reason I'm feeling exhausted and bummed out.
There is no specific reason why I am feeling this way. There is nothing in life to be bummed about. Both my jobs are going good. Church is going good. family life is going good. friendships are going good. everything is going pretty good. But yet - there seems to be something missing... and yet - maybe this is why I am bummed out?
I've started to pray about ministry - where God wants me to be - where He wants me to go - what sort of things he wants me to do with the life that He has given me. I've been obdient to the things that He had required of me to do - eg. Devote my life and live a life of holiness and purity. I signed a covenant and became a salvation army soldier a year ago. And it wasn't until last night where I really confirmed that I wanted to still be a soldier and really live by the covenant that I signed. So this up coming sunday will be the first sunday in a really long time where I have worn my uniform to church. But whats after this? I mean - soldiership isn't just about a uniform, its about the lifestyle that you live. No drinking, no gambling, no smoking, no drugs, none of this stuff that would hinder your walk with God. Ok, I'm good on all that stuff. But where does God want me to go next? and do next?
Ministry. I play the drums on Sundays at the corps that I attend and I love it. I love being able to praise and worship God with the gifts that He has given me. I am blessed to be able to do this. But there is more...
I have always dreamed of being in full time ministry. Officership? YIKES. To me that is a VERY scray thought. I couldn't ever imagine being an officer - yet alone a single officer... I have always dreamed of being able to have a husband, have a few children and be in full time ministry with my partner. However - the older that I get, and the more serious that I'm getting about my life - about ministry and the things that my heart desires. The more that the family lifestyle seems to be disappearing... the "dream" of being married is disappearing... and the reality of being single is starting to become more of a realization now then ever before.
I'm not wanting to be single... I don't believe that I am called to be single. However, this is what I want. But what does God want of me? I mean, He always knows the desires of our hearts, and if that is so - then I should get married right? Well, I believe that if its to be -then, it'll happen. And if I am to be single. Then I'm going to have to ask God to help me really be ok with that too.
Ok - I gotta go for now... but I will write more later on tonight...
Blessings.
Michelle
There is no specific reason why I am feeling this way. There is nothing in life to be bummed about. Both my jobs are going good. Church is going good. family life is going good. friendships are going good. everything is going pretty good. But yet - there seems to be something missing... and yet - maybe this is why I am bummed out?
I've started to pray about ministry - where God wants me to be - where He wants me to go - what sort of things he wants me to do with the life that He has given me. I've been obdient to the things that He had required of me to do - eg. Devote my life and live a life of holiness and purity. I signed a covenant and became a salvation army soldier a year ago. And it wasn't until last night where I really confirmed that I wanted to still be a soldier and really live by the covenant that I signed. So this up coming sunday will be the first sunday in a really long time where I have worn my uniform to church. But whats after this? I mean - soldiership isn't just about a uniform, its about the lifestyle that you live. No drinking, no gambling, no smoking, no drugs, none of this stuff that would hinder your walk with God. Ok, I'm good on all that stuff. But where does God want me to go next? and do next?
Ministry. I play the drums on Sundays at the corps that I attend and I love it. I love being able to praise and worship God with the gifts that He has given me. I am blessed to be able to do this. But there is more...
I have always dreamed of being in full time ministry. Officership? YIKES. To me that is a VERY scray thought. I couldn't ever imagine being an officer - yet alone a single officer... I have always dreamed of being able to have a husband, have a few children and be in full time ministry with my partner. However - the older that I get, and the more serious that I'm getting about my life - about ministry and the things that my heart desires. The more that the family lifestyle seems to be disappearing... the "dream" of being married is disappearing... and the reality of being single is starting to become more of a realization now then ever before.
I'm not wanting to be single... I don't believe that I am called to be single. However, this is what I want. But what does God want of me? I mean, He always knows the desires of our hearts, and if that is so - then I should get married right? Well, I believe that if its to be -then, it'll happen. And if I am to be single. Then I'm going to have to ask God to help me really be ok with that too.
Ok - I gotta go for now... but I will write more later on tonight...
Blessings.
Michelle
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