Fall on me...
I haven't blogged for a couple days - have been sick - have a terrible cold and actually it seems to be getting worse! Which by the way - so sucks.
Anyways - Today I went to church it was amazing. There were some guest speakers so had shared about their time in Africa. They shared so much about the children and how they get sold in to slavery. It was quite sad to watch the film clips that they shared with us - and most of all sad to know that this sort of thing is happening all over the world - not just Africa.
Well tonight I had to go and clean this office for this guy that I know - I usually only clean it when he goes out of town and doesn't have the chance to do it. So anyways I was - like always - listening to my MP3 Player and this song by Rob Thomas was playing and I actually had it on repeat.
"Just let me hold you while you're falling apart, Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down" (Rob Thomas - Ever the same)
You see there are so many times in my life where I just feel like I'm falling apart - like now in my life - but this actually has been going on for a while now. I feel like I'm in a deep valley and that I just can't seem to get out of it. I try my hardest to have God part of my life - but in many ways it feels as if He has forgotten about me. But I know thats not true - maybe sometimes I forget about Him. Anyways right now I'm at a very confusing time in my life - I have been told by people who are close to me that I am changing - I'm not really happy anymore - I am not the same person who I was a year ago. The thing is - I have allowed the world to be my master rather then having God be my master - my Lord - my Savior - the love of my life. I had emailed a friend earlier this week and I had shared with her that I want to know God in my heart - not just know Him in my mind. These are two totally different things. However as I thought about this after I had sent the email I know for a shaddow of a doubt that God has worked in my heart in the past. He has done a lot of healing in my life. He has moved me in ways that I can't explain. Does that mean its just in my head? Or was God really working in my heart? I know it was with my heart... And I know that God wants nothing but to have my heart - to have all of my life - to not have bits and peices to it. I don't know what that looks like - I don't know how that is suppose to feel. But I would love it if God showed me....
"You may need me there, To carry all your weight, But you're no burden I assure, You tide me over, With a warmth I'll not forget, But I can only give you love" (Rob Thomas - Ever the same)
I got to go take some more neo-citron and crash for the night - I'm beat.
Will post again soon...
Michelle
Anyways - Today I went to church it was amazing. There were some guest speakers so had shared about their time in Africa. They shared so much about the children and how they get sold in to slavery. It was quite sad to watch the film clips that they shared with us - and most of all sad to know that this sort of thing is happening all over the world - not just Africa.
Well tonight I had to go and clean this office for this guy that I know - I usually only clean it when he goes out of town and doesn't have the chance to do it. So anyways I was - like always - listening to my MP3 Player and this song by Rob Thomas was playing and I actually had it on repeat.
"Just let me hold you while you're falling apart, Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down" (Rob Thomas - Ever the same)
You see there are so many times in my life where I just feel like I'm falling apart - like now in my life - but this actually has been going on for a while now. I feel like I'm in a deep valley and that I just can't seem to get out of it. I try my hardest to have God part of my life - but in many ways it feels as if He has forgotten about me. But I know thats not true - maybe sometimes I forget about Him. Anyways right now I'm at a very confusing time in my life - I have been told by people who are close to me that I am changing - I'm not really happy anymore - I am not the same person who I was a year ago. The thing is - I have allowed the world to be my master rather then having God be my master - my Lord - my Savior - the love of my life. I had emailed a friend earlier this week and I had shared with her that I want to know God in my heart - not just know Him in my mind. These are two totally different things. However as I thought about this after I had sent the email I know for a shaddow of a doubt that God has worked in my heart in the past. He has done a lot of healing in my life. He has moved me in ways that I can't explain. Does that mean its just in my head? Or was God really working in my heart? I know it was with my heart... And I know that God wants nothing but to have my heart - to have all of my life - to not have bits and peices to it. I don't know what that looks like - I don't know how that is suppose to feel. But I would love it if God showed me....
"You may need me there, To carry all your weight, But you're no burden I assure, You tide me over, With a warmth I'll not forget, But I can only give you love" (Rob Thomas - Ever the same)
I got to go take some more neo-citron and crash for the night - I'm beat.
Will post again soon...
Michelle
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