I cried again today...
I cried again today at work...
Here's the deal - work was going really great... having lots of laughs - eating lots of donuts (a fellow co-worker brought some in) having good old Tim Hortons Coffee that I brought... mmmmm... Then this afternoon - the unexpected happend...
Tonights my stepfathers birthday. Happy Birthday!... and so - I have plans to go for dinner tonight and to have some cake etc. then am headed off to the late nights how with my boss and another friend that i work with... so I'm pretty stoked about that...
Anyways - I felt so hurt by someone today at work... and from that hurt I had started to get angry... so angry that all I could do was cry...
I stopped making pizzas, told a fellow co-worker that i needed a minute... she knew what was going on and told me that it was ok and that she understood - she knew it was wrong what was being done to me. As I started to walk to the bathroom - I put my head down (i wear a hat at work so it blocked my face...) because I just started to cry... I stood in the bathroom crying and asking God why this was happening. I didn't understand, or could believe it...
God tests me... and when He does sometimes I end up feeling defeated or feel as I have failed the test. However - this test, seemed almost like that same feeling. Like I had let God down in a huge way. But the thing is - I didn't let God down... maybe i let this other person down, but I asked God how I did this? The thing was - I didn't do anything wrong... God reassured my heart on that... and after spending a good 10-15minutes in the bathroom - pouring out my heart to God I gathered myself together - went out, stood tall. Knowing that God was on my side - that He was protecting me, taking care of me, and at that very moment He was holding me by the palm of His hand. The rest of my shift went well... I got to get off early because of my stepdads birthday stuff... which was great.
And when I was walking home - the emotions flooded back again... I know I am to show Gods love to everyone... sometimes I really do struggle with this. But God is teaching me...
I thank God for what happend. I thank God that I was able to stand tall - and not allow satan to drag me down - feeling so defeated in something that wasn't even true... I thank God that I have a heart that is full of forgiveness and that I am able to forgive of what happend. I praise Him for that.
Well I must be off... have to finish getting ready for work... will post again later tonight!
Peace,
Michelle
Here's the deal - work was going really great... having lots of laughs - eating lots of donuts (a fellow co-worker brought some in) having good old Tim Hortons Coffee that I brought... mmmmm... Then this afternoon - the unexpected happend...
Tonights my stepfathers birthday. Happy Birthday!... and so - I have plans to go for dinner tonight and to have some cake etc. then am headed off to the late nights how with my boss and another friend that i work with... so I'm pretty stoked about that...
Anyways - I felt so hurt by someone today at work... and from that hurt I had started to get angry... so angry that all I could do was cry...
I stopped making pizzas, told a fellow co-worker that i needed a minute... she knew what was going on and told me that it was ok and that she understood - she knew it was wrong what was being done to me. As I started to walk to the bathroom - I put my head down (i wear a hat at work so it blocked my face...) because I just started to cry... I stood in the bathroom crying and asking God why this was happening. I didn't understand, or could believe it...
God tests me... and when He does sometimes I end up feeling defeated or feel as I have failed the test. However - this test, seemed almost like that same feeling. Like I had let God down in a huge way. But the thing is - I didn't let God down... maybe i let this other person down, but I asked God how I did this? The thing was - I didn't do anything wrong... God reassured my heart on that... and after spending a good 10-15minutes in the bathroom - pouring out my heart to God I gathered myself together - went out, stood tall. Knowing that God was on my side - that He was protecting me, taking care of me, and at that very moment He was holding me by the palm of His hand. The rest of my shift went well... I got to get off early because of my stepdads birthday stuff... which was great.
And when I was walking home - the emotions flooded back again... I know I am to show Gods love to everyone... sometimes I really do struggle with this. But God is teaching me...
I thank God for what happend. I thank God that I was able to stand tall - and not allow satan to drag me down - feeling so defeated in something that wasn't even true... I thank God that I have a heart that is full of forgiveness and that I am able to forgive of what happend. I praise Him for that.
Well I must be off... have to finish getting ready for work... will post again later tonight!
Peace,
Michelle
Comments