Todays Thoughts...
So I went to bed super-duper late last night, which was ok... I still was able to get up early this morning - am baby sitting my niece melody right now. We're having fun she's just a rippin' around my place - singing, dancing, laughing, and watching some unknown cartoon on tv... :)
So here's the deal... I was thinking - even before this morning, late last night - You know one thing that i remember while growing up? how hard it was for me to get close to people. I would take forever to "warm-up" to them, and after that warming up was done it was like we have been friends forever - but then some how along the way - the freindship would be ruined... they would get mad at me or me get mad at them (and to be honest thats how it usually went)
I thought since I'm all grown up now, 26yrs old, that this wouldn't happen anymore - that the "warming up" to people would be done - its not, I'm still that way... and what about friendships being ruined? well - I don't get mad at people, but I also don't allow myself to get to attached to them... for a couple of reasons. eg. being hurt, rejected, feelings of jealousy.
Ok I haven't felt any of these feelings for quite sometime - however, I know those who I am friends with - have felt those feelings towards me... feeling left out - feeling jealous, feeling hurt. And I had to fix a few things - this has been (i think) a first for me to go to someone and say "hey - I'm really sorry that you felt that way - can you please forgive me?"
God is continually teaching me about friendship, teaching me about sharing His love deep within' the friendships that I have... its been challenging - but really rewarding as well.
Also - on a total different topic... in your life - have you ever left a job because you weren't feeling happy? you didn't like it? didn't feel welcomed? - Well I got to talk to my old boss today - she wants me back... she said "Michelle, you are such a hard worker, and I know that we have butted heads in the past - but I really do want you back to work for me." Ok, so my ego was boosted a bit - ok a whole lot. I felt like "Ya, thats right - I'm wanted! She wants me back to work for her." Then bam..... Ok Sorry for thinking that God - and sorry for feeling that way. The thing is - the job would be alright - I would go back to cleaning - I wouldn't be as happy as I am right now though. I'd be going back - past history - past stuff that I would rather just say "Hey, i've been there - I didn't really enjoy that... why would I go back to something like that and be so unhappy?" so the pay - sure I'd be making $10 an hour, rather then the $8.10 that I was making before... I'd be working 30+ hours a week. Sounds good... but I had to tell my old boss "ok, I'm sorry - I love the job that I have right now... BUT what I can do for you - to try and help you out is to work some late evening shifts for you until you get some stuff hired..." so she has my current work schedule and is going to pop me on some shifts until she gets some more stuff hired. Yes I may be tired for a bit - but I know - for some reason, that this is what I am to do - just for a season...
Ok - its starting to get late. I must be off to bed. Will blog again tomorrow.
Blessings,
Michelle
So here's the deal... I was thinking - even before this morning, late last night - You know one thing that i remember while growing up? how hard it was for me to get close to people. I would take forever to "warm-up" to them, and after that warming up was done it was like we have been friends forever - but then some how along the way - the freindship would be ruined... they would get mad at me or me get mad at them (and to be honest thats how it usually went)
I thought since I'm all grown up now, 26yrs old, that this wouldn't happen anymore - that the "warming up" to people would be done - its not, I'm still that way... and what about friendships being ruined? well - I don't get mad at people, but I also don't allow myself to get to attached to them... for a couple of reasons. eg. being hurt, rejected, feelings of jealousy.
Ok I haven't felt any of these feelings for quite sometime - however, I know those who I am friends with - have felt those feelings towards me... feeling left out - feeling jealous, feeling hurt. And I had to fix a few things - this has been (i think) a first for me to go to someone and say "hey - I'm really sorry that you felt that way - can you please forgive me?"
God is continually teaching me about friendship, teaching me about sharing His love deep within' the friendships that I have... its been challenging - but really rewarding as well.
Also - on a total different topic... in your life - have you ever left a job because you weren't feeling happy? you didn't like it? didn't feel welcomed? - Well I got to talk to my old boss today - she wants me back... she said "Michelle, you are such a hard worker, and I know that we have butted heads in the past - but I really do want you back to work for me." Ok, so my ego was boosted a bit - ok a whole lot. I felt like "Ya, thats right - I'm wanted! She wants me back to work for her." Then bam..... Ok Sorry for thinking that God - and sorry for feeling that way. The thing is - the job would be alright - I would go back to cleaning - I wouldn't be as happy as I am right now though. I'd be going back - past history - past stuff that I would rather just say "Hey, i've been there - I didn't really enjoy that... why would I go back to something like that and be so unhappy?" so the pay - sure I'd be making $10 an hour, rather then the $8.10 that I was making before... I'd be working 30+ hours a week. Sounds good... but I had to tell my old boss "ok, I'm sorry - I love the job that I have right now... BUT what I can do for you - to try and help you out is to work some late evening shifts for you until you get some stuff hired..." so she has my current work schedule and is going to pop me on some shifts until she gets some more stuff hired. Yes I may be tired for a bit - but I know - for some reason, that this is what I am to do - just for a season...
Ok - its starting to get late. I must be off to bed. Will blog again tomorrow.
Blessings,
Michelle
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