Tonights Thoughts...
I got word tonight that some people are worried about me and are sad for some reasons...
I didn't go to church on Sunday, and also didn't go to practice last night. I'm exhausted... its not that I didn't want to go - its just physically this past sunday I couldn't get out of bed. My body was longing for rest, my heart was just longing to hear God say "michelle, its ok, rest up - you need it. take a day off for you and i to be together." I felt it in my heart... I tried to call the church - no answer though... and this past thursday - yesterday, I didn't go to worship band practice - I could hardly walk after my shift at work. It was a physically demanding day yesterday, a day that I have never ever had to work before. My feet were swollen - every step that I took, my feet ached, it hurt to stand, it hurt to walk, it hurt to sit, my feet ached so much. I have been pushing my body to limits that it hasn't been pushed before.
I was asked "michelle - commitment - where is it?" my responce: "I have been commited to the worship team for months on end, and if i miss 2 weeks of not playing because my body is telling me to slow down and take it easy - i get questioned for it. I can handle the questions, what I can't handle is the judgement that is behind the question, eg. where is your walk with God?"
To be quite honest, my walk with God is amazing right now, He is teaching me things in my life that I have not learned before. He is teaching me how to live and walk in victory. How to live purely, honestly, to live as Christ wants me to live... I praise God for the work he is doing in my life and most of all in my heart - without these teachings, without the work, without the love, without the passion that I have for Him... my life wouldn't be where it is right now. Just because I have missed Church doesn't mean I'm back slidding - I am not.
God is the love of my life. I love Him... and I know that every step that I take, every breath that I make, every heartbeat that pounds from my chest, from every tear that trickles down my cheek, with every movement that I make, with everything possible in my life - I desire to honor Him and live a holy life.
Don't get me wrong... I know I am not perfect. I do make mistakes, but God is a God of love, of mercy and of grace. He is a father who forgives... and when I stumble, I get up - brush myself off, and know that God is holding my hand along the way.
Anyways - just some thoughts that I wanted to share... must go to bed. Tired already... But I will blog again tomorrow... when I get home from work - I'm sure that I will have more thoughts to share....
Blessings,
Michelle
I didn't go to church on Sunday, and also didn't go to practice last night. I'm exhausted... its not that I didn't want to go - its just physically this past sunday I couldn't get out of bed. My body was longing for rest, my heart was just longing to hear God say "michelle, its ok, rest up - you need it. take a day off for you and i to be together." I felt it in my heart... I tried to call the church - no answer though... and this past thursday - yesterday, I didn't go to worship band practice - I could hardly walk after my shift at work. It was a physically demanding day yesterday, a day that I have never ever had to work before. My feet were swollen - every step that I took, my feet ached, it hurt to stand, it hurt to walk, it hurt to sit, my feet ached so much. I have been pushing my body to limits that it hasn't been pushed before.
I was asked "michelle - commitment - where is it?" my responce: "I have been commited to the worship team for months on end, and if i miss 2 weeks of not playing because my body is telling me to slow down and take it easy - i get questioned for it. I can handle the questions, what I can't handle is the judgement that is behind the question, eg. where is your walk with God?"
To be quite honest, my walk with God is amazing right now, He is teaching me things in my life that I have not learned before. He is teaching me how to live and walk in victory. How to live purely, honestly, to live as Christ wants me to live... I praise God for the work he is doing in my life and most of all in my heart - without these teachings, without the work, without the love, without the passion that I have for Him... my life wouldn't be where it is right now. Just because I have missed Church doesn't mean I'm back slidding - I am not.
God is the love of my life. I love Him... and I know that every step that I take, every breath that I make, every heartbeat that pounds from my chest, from every tear that trickles down my cheek, with every movement that I make, with everything possible in my life - I desire to honor Him and live a holy life.
Don't get me wrong... I know I am not perfect. I do make mistakes, but God is a God of love, of mercy and of grace. He is a father who forgives... and when I stumble, I get up - brush myself off, and know that God is holding my hand along the way.
Anyways - just some thoughts that I wanted to share... must go to bed. Tired already... But I will blog again tomorrow... when I get home from work - I'm sure that I will have more thoughts to share....
Blessings,
Michelle
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