Another late night..

Its another late night - I'm not staying up just because its Friday night - I'm up because I just can't sleep. I don't understand why I can't - I have been up since 6am. I have this routine now - the people who live above me wake up at that time - or just before, they walk around - I can hear doors been opend and being closed... they always seem to slam the front door shut in the morning so it usually wakes me up - unless there walking around does - they are heavy walkers. Anyways - so after they leave for work in the morning I usually try my hardest to go back to bed - but I usually dont end up sleeping because then my cat spook thinks that its time to play - so I end up hiding under my blanket as she ends up attacking me for a bit, then she desides that play time is over and comes and cuddles me and then just as I am ready to go back to sleep its time to get up and get ready for work. This is how my routine has been for the past month or so. I have been getting very little sleep. But its ok. God has been giving me some extra energy, but I do pray though that I will be able to catch up on some sleep because my body does needs it.

So I was talking to a friend of mine tonight - I am so wanting to be perfect before God - so perfect in fact that when I'm not I get frustrated by it. However the more I realise that things aren't about me and the more its about God - the more I want to be like Him. My heart longs for Him to move in my life in ways that are just so imaginable. I want God to fullfill my dreams. the desires of my heart. I think mostly - I want to live a life honoring to Him.

Do you ever wonder - if you have touched someones life in a special way? I think that often... especially over this past week. I had met up with one of my best friends for coffee on monday - she has been a huge blessing and encouragement to me... but I wonder if I have been the same to her? not just that - but what about those that I work with? those who I talk to daily. Am I making an impact on this world just like Jesus is? I wonder...

I have also started to notice - especially at work, that people start to be careful of not using the Lords name in vain around me. And when they do they look at me and say "I'm so sorry michelle." I always tell people that they don't have to appologise to me for things that they say or do. It does hurt knowing that these people aren't living a life that is worthy to God - but how can I bring them to know Jesus? Being like Him... treating them with love. Respect. Treating them Just as Jesus would.

Challenging things go through this head of mine... and this is the sort of things that keep me awake at night.

Jesus - what can I do to bring someone to the foot of the cross? Father I pray for my friends and for my family every day - but yet, they seem to not show any sign of wanting to have a relationship with you. Lord I pray that You'd help me to continue to be that walking light in whatever room that I enter. Lord - I pray that the people that I work with would be able to feel something different when they are around me. May they feel your love, your peace, your joy... May they not see me. May they see you Jesus. Lord as I continue to live my life for you - as I continue to walk in obedience and in victory I ask Jesus that You would bless me greatly. God continue to do the work that needs to be done in my life so that I may be a perfect image of you. I ask all these things in Jesus name I pray. Amen.

I'm off to bed now... my eyes are actually starting to get a bit sleepy now...

Will blog again tomorrow.
Blessings,
Michelle